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 Where there's smoke, there's fire...

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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:02 pm

Deep breath in... exhale. Deep breath in... exhale. Jax spoke the words in his mind as he performed them, taking long drawls from the cigarette gripped tightly between his fingers. As he exhaled, stringy clouds of smoke expanded in front of him, burning his nose each time that he breathed in. He watched the burning end of the cigarette carefully. Though his thoughts wandered, his eyes remained focused, his lips parted slightly as he continued to examine the substance between his fingers. He wanted to put it out on his arm - to burn his skin and cringe in pain beneath the threatening object that he had control over. It wasn't enough that the cigarette was killing him from the inside. He wanted the damage to be seen on the outside as well.
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:07 pm

Lana had been completely distraught over the past week. Since her fight with Jax, she'd been anxious and uncomfortable and always depressed. Making up with Cadence had helped somewhat, but she couldn't ditched the feeling of sadness. She'd stopped eating regularly again, and that semester paper hadn't been started. Lana had spent most nights staring at the ceiling of her bedroom, wondering how she'd become so fucked up and feeling so alone.

But one thing that had always cheered her up was ice cream, so she was on her way to Theo's to get a bowl. She needed something to do other than stare at her laptop or sleep. The brunette zipped up her jacket as she walked down the street, looking over to her left at the store. She nearly stopped dead in the center of the road as she saw Jax standing outside of the parlor, smoking. Cringing, Lana took a deep breath and ignored her shaking legs. She walked past him, ignoring him completely and stepping into the ice cream parlor.
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:15 pm

Jax attempted to keep his eyes ahead and his thoughts focused on the smoke that billowed from his mouth as he exhaled sharply. However, his actions bypassed his thoughts, going off on their own accord. He grabbed Lana's arm, turning to face her. Jax leaned against the building as he eyed her, his lashes casting dark shadows across his sharp cheekbones. For a moment, he allowed silence to stretch between them, aware of the cigarette burning out in his left hand and the tight grip of his right hand around Lana's arm.

Finally, Jax released her, biting his lower lip and clearing his throat, "Umm, hi. Funny running into you here."
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:20 pm

Lana was about to push open the door when she felt a tight grip on her arm. She attempted to pull away, and realizing that the grip was tight reminded her of some of her less favorable memories. But turning around, she realized it was only Jax, and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. He looked hollow. She could tell he'd been smoking and drinking, it wasn't hard to miss. "Fancy seeing you here." The brunette responded, moving her arm back to her side. Glancing between Jax and the cigarette, she gently took it out of his fingers and put it in the ashtray behind her.

"I need to talk to you." Lana said softly, glancing back up at him and waiting for a response.
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
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Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:31 pm

Jax blinked at Lana, glancing down at his discarded cigarette. The action didn't lighten his aggressive mood; he crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. He couldn't think when he was near Lana - or perhaps it was that he as finally thinking clearly; he didn't like being able to do that. Jax's thoughts had always been like a system of railroad tracks - while others couldn't understand his jumbled thoughts, he knew them perfectly, right down to when they stopped and started.

"Alright. I'm standing here. So talk to me before I feel the need to get another cigarette." His words were intentionally bitter. Why was she still around him? He turned the question over and over in his mind; he couldn't come to a solution. Whether she liked it or not, he was bad for her; the fact that he could never be good for her hurt him more than anything.
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:36 pm

Lana stared blankly at him, unsure of how to react. Her mind was cloudy and blank and she couldn't form a straight thought. His words made her blink twice, and she felt the bitterness and the coldness that was directed towards her. It hurt, it stung, and Lana almost wanted to cry. It was pathetic how weak she was, she didn't know how she'd succumbed to this. Everything had been fine, but then she'd said something stupid and fucked it all up. Like she always did. "I...what...what are we, Jax? I'm sick of not knowing. I don't even know what to say, this is ridiculous." Lana tried not to shout, her frustration getting the best of her and saying more than she should've.
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:41 pm

"We are humans," he said quickly, "Not to be mistaken with chimps despite the fact that at some point, we shared a common ancestor." The words left his mouth before he could stop them; Jax felt a small smirk playing on his lips. he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jeans; rocked back and forth on his heels. He expected Lana to slap him; he didn't cower away from the response. Lana had every right to hate Jax, especially after his behavior as of late.

"We're a couple Lana," Jax finally answered, his voice serious, "and just like every couple, we're going through a rough time that is testing our faith in each other as well as our ability to keep up a relationship along with a life outside of it."
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:48 pm

Lana glared at Jax icily, taking every ounce of self control not to hit him across the face. This was ridiculous, she didn't know why she was even bothering to talk to him in the first place. It's not as if he would even listen to her. "I want to know why we're fighting. Why won't you talk to me? I've fixed everything else - except for us. I don't know what you want, Jax." The brunette sighed, pushing hair out of her face and tapping her foot impatiently. She didn't want ice cream anymore, she would vomit if she ate anything. Lana actually wanted to do her homework, that was how badly she wanted to get through with this conversation. Banging out a paper on her laptop sounded ideal, but she was smart enough to know that this would take time and that even if Jax was going to be a dick about it, she wasn't. Lana hated that Jax was refusing to talk to her, so she wouldn't do the same to him. Even though she felt like sometimes he just didn't care, she couldn't give up. She cared too much for that.
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 8:53 pm

"Well, I figure that eventually, you'll come to your senses and realize that I'm not good for you." Jax admitted. He glanced behind Lana at the empty street around them, then cast his eyes up to the cloudy sky above, "I figure that at some point, you'll learn to listen to your friends. I'm no good for you, Lana."

The words sent an ice pick through Jax's heart the moment that they'd left his lips. They were the truth... but that was exactly the problem: Jax never told the truth. Maybe he needed to just go ride the marijuana train into Highville and forget that any of this was happening. He needed a distraction; a distraction of any kind would have been greatly appreciated.
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:00 pm

Lana felt a cold shock run through her at Jax's words. This was...no. It wasn't happening. As much as Lana wanted to go hole up into a corner and sob into her hands, it wasn't going to happen. She wasn't giving up. Not after everything she'd done.

"No." Lana said, her voice firm. She took a solid breath and blinked back the hot tears that wanted to flow from her eyes. "I did not let my relationship with my mom, my best friend, and my cousin fall, only to have to rebuild it by defending you, Jax, to have you come here and try to convince me to break up with you! This is ridiculous, what the fuck? Honestly, I can't deal with you doubting us too. Everyone tells me it's not going to work, that you're trouble, and I don't believe them! Because I do care about you, and I believe in you. " Lana swallowed and took in a deep breath, looking at him pleadingly.

"Even if no one else does, I care. I know you're a good person. Even if you don't think you are, you're good when you want to be." She said, a bit more quietly. "Please don't make me wrong."
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:06 pm

"I'm not a good person, I just know how to act like one." Jax insisted, digging into his pocket and fishing out a cigarette. He pulled a lighter from the opposite pocket, lighting the cigarette up quickly. He inhaled; then exhaled the smoke quickly, turning his head away from Lana, "It's really a terrible thing to make a person out to be more than a person. When it concerns me, I am a terrible person; you should realize that by now. Despite the arguments you make that take up for me, I am terrible. And you are terrible as well for allowing a wolf in sheep's clothing to cloud your judgement. Honestly, Lana. Can you even list a few good things about me?"

Jax's voice wavered as he asked the question; he wrapped his hand firmly around his lighter. The other hand, occupied with his cigarette, dangled by his side. He kept his eyes locked on Lana's face, attempting to keep his expression stern. The cigarette smoke burned his throat; he fought back a cough, arching his eyebrow and staring at her curiously.
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:19 pm

Lana rolled her eyes, and for a moment she wondered why she even bothered. "And it's worse to doubt yourself. Being modest is one thing, but I'm not going to make a stupid fucking list - this is ridiculous." Lana glanced between the cigarette and Jax and she just felt alone again. And it hit her.

Maybe Jax just really didn't care. Why had she even thought he did in the first place? She was everything he wasn't. He'd probably just wanted to sleep with her - yes, that was it. Once he'd gotten sex it was over, she was pointless now. Lana held no value to him - what did she really hold to anyone? Most of the time she was a clingy, whiny, unintelligent bitch. Thinking he'd keep her around was the most ridiculous thing ever. Thinking anyone would keep her around was ridiculous, for that matter. Lana, guided by a new perspective, took a deep breath and started to walk away, without saying anything.

It wasn't like he was going to follow her.
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
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Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:28 pm

Jax kept his strides slow an careful behind Lana, whistling as he listened to his feet slap against the warm pavement. His ratty converse barely resembled shoes anymore; he tugged at the hem of his Sleeping With Sirens shirt as he followed her.

"So this is your solution? Running away?" Jax chuckled darkly, pausing for a moment before he began walking again, "you're going to give up that easily? I thought you wanted this! I thought you wanted us!" It occurred to Jax that he sounded as though he were bipolar - encouraging her to leave one moment, then trying to drag her back the next. In truth, Jax wanted to know that she cared enough to stay despite his imperfections.

"You didn't even put up a proper fight! You're just leaving!"
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:32 pm

Lana heard him walk behind her. For a second, she had hope, but at his sarcastic remark it faded away again. He caught up to her and she stopped, pausing only to respond to him. "I tried enough, Jax. It's obvious what you want, and it's not this. I'm not going to sit there and watch you smoke a pack of cigarettes, waiting for you to tell me that this is what you want too." Lana glared at him and his cigarette coldly before continuing to walk away.

It really hurt Lana more than she wanted to let on, because she cared about Jax, a lot. This was not like Lana, not at all. She fought for what she wanted and to keep the people she cared for in her life. She cared for Jax - but so much, that maybe this was better. It didn't seem like he wanted to be with her, so why burden him?
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:46 pm

"Really? Have you even asked me what I want?" Jax froze in place, arms dangling by his side as he studied Lana incredulously, "you think you know enough about me to form my opinions for me? That's not your job!" Jax shouted, waving his arms around in front of him. He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair, planting his hands firmly on his hips. His eyes challenged Lana; he clenched his jaw. "Really Lana? You think you can make my own choices for me and form my thoughts for me?"
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 9:52 pm

"I don't have to!' Lana fired back, stopping and turning around to face him. "That's all you've acted like lately - like I'm a waste of your time and you'd rather be off smoking or with someone who'll do it with you!" She said, pushing her hair back and letting out a defeated sigh. "I may not have asked you, but I have every right to infer from the way you've been acting. I don't know why you're acting like this and this is the only thing that I can come up with. If you have a better reason, say it. I'm so done with fighting you."
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Jax Crawline
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Zodiac : Scorpio Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-14
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 10:18 pm

"I wish the reason was as simple as me not caring, Lana. The problem is that I care too much about you, and you care too much about me. But I'm not good for you. I'm a terrible influence; above all, I'm shitty at relationships. Your friends and family don't like me; I don't want to be the reason that you end up pulling away from everyone that you love and know. I'm not perfect. Most of the judgements your family and friends make are true! But despite all that, I want you to care about me anyway. And that's what pisses me off the most. That I actually think I have a chance with you - that I actually think I'm good enough."
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 10:27 pm

Lana sighed, pushing her hair back and crossing her arms. She leaned up against the clothing store that was next to the ice cream shop. "I've fixed that, though. They've agreed to be respectful, I've convinced them that you're good when you're not in a crowd. And they believe me. I want to believe me - I-I can't lose you." Sighing, she stood up and put her hands in the pockets of her coat.

"I don't know why you think you're not good enough for me. I don't really deserve that much, you're more than I could ask for. Sure, you have your flaws, but so do I. I just...I need you to be there, Jax. This is what tears me apart, is not knowing where we stand. I need a solid relationship. We had it before, and it changed. I just...I don't know. I see you as a person, and you're a good person to me. I don't want you to leave."
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Jax Crawline
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Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 10:33 pm

Jax hesitated for a moment, tilting his head from side to side as he processed Lana's words. Finally, he stepped forward, snaking his arm around her waist; securing a right hold. "You and me. Against the world. That what this is. Us against ourselves. Us against everyone else. Just us. We can have a solid relationship, Lana. I just need to know that you understand that I don't come without trouble. If you can accept that... Then I can accept that you're willing to be with me."
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Lana Chapman
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Zodiac : Leo Posts : 58
Join date : 2013-04-09
Age : 21
Location : Sleeping.

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 10:44 pm

Lana felt Jax's arm slip back around her waist again, and it might have just been the best feeling in the world. All of the loneliness that she'd felt slipped away, and she felt whole again. She was happy for the first time in awhile, and now that she wasn't fighting with anyone it was peaceful. She could relax, it was almost perfect.

"Yes. I...yes." Lana said, wrapping her arms around Jax's neck and holding him close to her.
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Jax Crawline
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Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Where there's smoke, there's fire...    Mon May 13, 2013 10:48 pm

"Good. Then we're okay," Jax started, lowerin his lips to hers. He kissed her lightly, pulling back after a second and grabbing her hand, "now c'mon. I need some ice cream. And so do you. Besides, Theo probably misses us. Or at least... He misses you."
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